How to honor the memory of your beloved pet?
For the first time, we asked NPR viewers to share their creative and loving ways to cope with the grief of losing a pet, as well as to offer advice.
This is a continuation of the article and story about grief over the loss of a pet that we published in July. LifeKit reporter Keisha "T.K." Deutz spoke with author Alexander Hardy, who recently lost his family dog Papi, to talk about celebrating a pet's life (he suggests getting a tattoo or building a shrine) and managing your emotions (continuing to love by giving your pet the gift of another owner). toys).
Our audience had great ideas to add, from writing an obituary on Instagram to creating a memorial. Here's a selection of Life Kit inbox messages from members of the public. These responses have been edited for length and clarity.
Write an obituary
I lost my 15 year old dog Otis in February and as expected he was violent. I lost many pet dogs as a child and it was hard, but Otis was the first dog I had on my own as an adult.
To cope with the loss, I wrote what was essentially an obituary and posted it on social media with lots of photos. It was hard to look through all the pictures of her, but it helped me grieve as I wrote down my thoughts about her and her life. It makes me think of all the wonderful things he does and appreciate how lucky I am to spend this time with him.
The support and love I received from people online was overwhelming. There are a lot of problems with social media these days and a lot of hate, but in this case it has served as a very powerful tool for good. - Patrick Saunders
Create a day in their honor
The day we lose a dog, we will name that day after her. For example, July 26 is Bird Day. I'm taking the day off. I go to a 24-hour veterinary clinic, pay someone's bill, and give them supplies, food, or treatment. And I need opportunities to do good.
One day I was in the library. While I was standing in line, the librarian was checking out people's books, answering phones, and doing a lot of work like a professional. When it was my turn, I told him how good he was at his job. “Thank you for making me feel better,” she said, looking at me, and walked away. I took a day to remember Birdie and do a favor. - Cheryl Bauerschmidt
Construction of the memorial...
Our last loss was Sarah [in 2021]. She's been with us for 8 weeks and she's done. He greeted us at the door when we got home, slept like a teddy bear in my daughter's bed, showed us when the other cats were hungry, kept us awake during the long late nights I was working on my degree.
My daughter and I created a small wildflower memorial in our backyard. This year, some sunflowers survived squirrel attacks and grew taller by looking at the sun and stretching. I remember Sarah in those flowers, and sometimes it doesn't really hurt. - Mena Bingham
...and try to solve the problem
My miniature schnauzer, Bella, was constantly in discomfort as I dealt with the aftermath of divorce, difficult experiences at work, and sending my kids off to college. He and I walked and walked and cuddled on the couch for hours.
I created the Bella Blaine Rudy Memorial Flower Garden with a strong belief in working hard to overcome adversity. Caring for it, adding plants for three seasons, and digging up and replanting the garden from time to time brought me comfort. - Fadeli House
Keep a glass of water nearby
My kitchen has a large window that looks out onto the backyard. My cat Fina loved watching birds and lizards. I even drank a second glass of water for her. He crossed the bridge on Thanksgiving Day last year. I always put a bowl of water with a glass picture of a cat on it so that the cat is always looking out the window. - Marie Hernandez
Get a new life
I have had pets my whole life and their death is very difficult. And when they leave, it seems like the hole in my heart will never heal. I decided a long time ago that the only way to solve this problem was to go to a shelter, accept another life and be adopted in the name and memory of my recently deceased angel.
The distraction and activity that comes with introducing an animal into an unfamiliar, even loving, environment is positive, and the new addition will inevitably find its way into my broken heart. This is how I learned to cope with this terrible loss. - Linda Smith
Treat your dog the Nepalese way
It is inspired by Kukur Tihar, the Nepalese Hindu dog festival. I have an appointment in two weeks to euthanize my special, stupid dog, Dodger, who is disabled. To help me through the grief, I sharpened crayons in three or four colors and bought meatballs and chocolate [her favorite food]. Whenever I felt sadness overwhelm me, I would apply chalk on his forehead [to show the blessing and sanctity of a dog during Kukur Tihar], serve meatballs and bathe him with love.
I invited three of my close friends to witness her death and asked them to bring flowers from their garden. We give him half an hour of love, hang flowers around his neck (a sign of respect and honor in the Kukur Tihari tradition) and let him eat Reese's peanut butter until the vet arrives. We shared special stories and held her in our arms while she slept.
I loved that dog so much, but the ceremony [of the last weeks of his life and death] was perfect. Now, when I experience even a small loss, I prepare by finding a way to accept the change and grief that comes with it. This was very helpful for me. - Betty Burson
Create an amateur film and record your photos.
(I should have said) four dogs. My husband Jim made a short video consisting mostly of photos and video. In the months since our loss, and now at least once a year, I see him again and again. Watching our movie at home brings us such joy. It helps us remember how much joy these four dogs brought us.
Today we were having lunch (with our dogs) on the restaurant terrace and before we sat down the woman at the next table said hello. We just let our dog out this morning,” she said and began to cry. Our hearts sank because we knew what it was about. We strongly encourage her to take photos of her partner and hope that these photos will bring back as fond memories for her as ours. - Jamie Cherry
The audio portion of this episode was narrated by Keisha "TK" Dutts, produced by Sylvie Douglas, and edited by Megan Keene. Digital History edited by Claire Marie Schneider.
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